Zero Proof Living
“I’ve been sober for 16 months”
What’s your first reaction when you hear a statement like that from someone? Do you feel happy for them? Is there a suspicion that they had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, necessitating a break? Or do you have a concern, thinking that each day might be a struggle for them to maintain their sobriety? I’ve experienced all the above but never anticipated what I might feel in response to hearing myself make that same statement.
Alcohol permeates our culture.
At its best, it feels like a ritual that can help us bond and soften the edges around the harsh reality of our daily lives. At its worst, it literally tears at the fabric of our relationships and society. Part of me wants to believe that, for many of us, our experience with alcohol lies somewhere in the middle. However, the more I discuss this topic with friends and colleagues, the less optimistic I am that we’re truly in control.
For the better part of my adult life, I’ve been an occasional drinker. It’s probably been close to a decade since I’ve been fully inebriated. However, in the past few years (particularly during Covid), it wasn’t uncommon to find myself having 3-4 drinks a week. I’ve never had an issue regulating my alcohol intake and, with seemingly little effort, could go several weeks without a drink. I viewed this ability as a feature, a superpower if you will. In hindsight though, I think it’s merely a bug. While I would stress that my mental health is not beyond reproach, I do happen to be wired in such a way that saying ‘no’ to drugs, unhealthy behaviors or relationships is something I can do with relative ease.
So, what finally made me cut my consumption of alcohol to zero?
While I’m reluctant to attribute any of my healthy behaviors or beliefs to ‘shit I heard on the internet’, I confess that I am at least somewhat guilty of becoming a ‘podcast bro’ in recent years. I mouth tape, journal, make frequent attempts at meditation and take daily cold showers. I feel better doing these things, but I still didn’t feel great. A few years ago, I started hearing more about the negative impact of alcohol on the brain and body, even in moderation. This culminated in hearing a discussion by Dr. Andrew Huberman on the Huberman Lab podcast in August of 2022, prompting me to eliminate my intake of alcohol to at least ‘see how I felt’.
What did I immediately notice when I stopped drinking? The truth is, not much.
Years of scrolling through social media and hearing how people’s entire life shifted when they implemented this one ‘life hack’ or supplement had me convinced if I didn’t see an immediate and profound benefit, it wasn’t the right thing for me. What’s more likely, I now suspect, is that if your body reacts so positively to adding or cutting something out, it was probably long overdue. This isn’t to say that looking back over the past 16 months I haven’t seen any changes. I’m faster and stronger. I can run several kilometres every day, and I don’t feel sore or worn down. The most significant changes I’ve noticed, however, have been inside my head. It feels like my mental health resembles a much larger vessel on a body of water. Not immune to the occasional passing storm but also not so easily perturbed and rocked day-to-day or from the wake caused by others.
The few drinks a week I was having weren’t ruining my life, but in hindsight, I can clearly see they also weren’t additive.
I never planned to extend my experiment this long, and with the holidays upon us, I have felt the pressure to give in and have a few drinks with friends, family or even just myself. But as I sit here on a sunny Saturday morning, sipping my coffee I feel like I’m in a great place, mentally and physically and I’m content to let this last as long as possible.
‘This will be a great one for Hinge’ - random hiker who took this photo for me.
If this made you pause, think, or feel something, it might do the same for someone else.
